Pampering vs. Policing
Yesterday, I spent a solo day at a spa. My husband got me a giftcard for my birthday and it only took me 7+ months to go and use it. I had been feeling stretched thin after a week of solo parenting and the general exhaustion of being a mother of two with a full-time job + side hustle. I've been trying to prioritize small changes that lead to a big impact, such as trying my hardest to get closer to 8 hours of sleep with more consistency, going to the gym twice a week, and not drinking alcohol on weeknights. When I'm able to maintain these routines, I feel much more energized, calm, and happier. However, when I have weeks that are busier and I'm not able to stick with this criteria, then my life falls apart, right? Wrong. Sure, I'm more tired, and perhaps more snippy with my husband/kids, but... life keeps moving. I try to get to bed early the next night, make it to the gym when I feel up for it, and I'm learning to repair with my family and myself. I'm learning to not beat myself up over these standards that I set for myself.
Yesterday I needed a day alone to recharge. I needed this full day away from my family and Saturday responsibilities because modern parenting leaves so little room for balance. With two parents working outside the home, we are juggling 3 full-time jobs, given that managing a household is a full-time job of its own. This means that even on our best weeks, we are juggling a steady stream of meals, dishes, cleanup, bedtimes, bath times, school prep, extra curriculars, kid injuries, kid emotions, our own emotions, dog walking, and of course, laundry. There will always be laundry, in addition to our paid work responsibilities.
I know that if you're reading this, I'm probably preaching to the choir. But, why does it feel like our society is just continuing to move in this unsustainable direction? This week, I attended a Zoom session lead by two amazing women and moms on just this topic. It was called "The Great (Re)balancing Act." One thing that Randi Braun, CEO of Something Major, shared that really stuck with me is this idea of whether we are pampering or policing, when it comes to our self-care routines. WOW. I started this blog post sharing how I've been trying to establish better routines and habits for myself to promote success. Sure, more sleep, less drinking, and going to the gym are great things to do, but when I attach the "should" to those things, is where the guilt sets it. I feel guilty for paying for a gym membership if I don't use it at least two times a week. I feel guilty if I "treat" myself to a beer while cooking dinner. And I felt guilty yesterday, spending money and missing out on a whole day with my family.
I'm not sure where I was going when I started this post, but I think where I landed is that sometimes we need to zoom out. The daily and weekly routines help us get thru each week, but that doesn't mean we won't need breaks or that we won't ever need a reset. My spa day wasn't just an escape; it was a chance to reconnect with myself, to find a quietness that's often elusive in my daily life.
Early parenthood is hard. Finding balance is a constant work in progress.
This is where I come in.
If you're feeling overwhelmed, stretched thin, and longing for a partner who gets it, I'm here. I understand the unique challenges of modern life, the constant juggling act, and the importance of prioritizing your well-being.
When you work with me, you'll get:
* Empathy and Understanding: I've been there. I know what it's like to feel like you're running on empty.
* Problem-Solving Skills: I'm not just here to listen; I'm here to help you find practical solutions and strategies to create more balance in your life.
* Resources to Protect and Promote Your Mental, Emotional, and Physical Health: I can connect you with the tools and support you need to thrive, not just survive.
Let's work together to create a life that feels sustainable, fulfilling, and yours. Reach out today for a free consultation.
